How to support your partner

Find out about the sexual problems that might occur after different prostate cancer treatments.

Think about when to have the conversation. Try to find a time when you are feeling close and connected. It’s not a good idea to talk about problems in bed after they’ve just happened. Make sure you have enough time and won’t be interrupted or distracted. Be patient, you might have to try to have the conversation a few times.

Think about the words to use – it’s common to worry about hurting your partner’s feelings. Here are some gentle opening lines.

Think about the words to use – it’s common to worry about hurting your partner’s feelings. Here are some gentle opening lines.

Think about the words to use – it’s common to worry about hurting your partner’s feelings. Here are some gentle opening lines.

Encourage him to make an appointment with his doctor to discuss his problems and find solutions. Offer to go along. If he feels embarrassed to talk about it, you could offer to start the conversation – if you feel comfortable doing so.

Prostate cancer can have a big impact on you as well as your partner so it’s important that you look after yourself. Don’t feel that you have to cope with everything on your own – find support if you need it.

Help him find out about treatments for sexual problems and encourage him to try some. And be open about trying them out together.

Tell your partner five things you really like about him and help him to stay positive. He might be feeling depressed, anxious or angry about the changes to your sex life. Some women feel rejected or unattractive in this situation but try to remember it’s not your fault – or his.

Focus on your relationship as a whole – make time to do things together, go on a date or just talk.

Support any lifestyle changes he decides to make – that could be eating healthily with him or taking up a physical activity together.

Suggest how you could do things different sexually. For example, make time to cuddle each other. See alternative ways to stay close for more ideas.

Make sure you let him know how you feel and what you want from your relationship.

Remind him it’s not his fault, these things are common and that you love him. If he is struggling with this you could say that as women get older they may have problems e.g. menopause and so it’s a two way street. You would expect him to support you then, just as you are supporting him now.

If things aren’t improving, you could gently suggest visiting a sex therapist or a counsellor.